How Can I Fall in Love with Only Words

September 4, 2016

Dear Subscriber:

Each week we examine a theme from a variety of points of view. This week’s theme is humor.

Today’s poem is a humorous poem about love in the early days of the Internet.

I welcome comments on my poems at http://nicholasgordon.blogspot.com.

Yours,

Nick Gordon

How can I fall in love with only words?

Words and pictures, grainy and compressed?

A jaypeg love is truly for the birds.

You'd have to wonder whether I'm repressed.

But love it is, through all the bits and bytes,

For someone who's like no one else I've met:

Tender, charming, bright, queen of my nights,

All I've ever dreamed of, on the Net.

And though she's living in a distant place,

I love her as I've loved no one before.

Will I ever get to touch her face,

Hold her in my arms and, perhaps, more?

Ay, me! No matter what, I'm still in love.

Through modems must our e-mailed passions move!

© by Nicholas Gordon

Hear or watch me recite this poem and listen to the music I chose for it at http://www.poemsforfree.com/howc14.html. For more humorous poems, go to http://www.poemsforfree.com/funnypoems.html .

This week’s theme: Humor.

August 29: A Receptionist Is a Person (Please Note!)

August 30: Dr. Melendez’s Head Is Now Quite Full

August 31: Holidays Are Holy Here in Heaven

September 1: On Passing Air

September 2: I’m Safe and Sound

September 3: What a Puzzle Nick’s Poems Are

September 4: How Do I Fall in Love with OnlyWords

What a Puzzle Nick's Poems Are

September 3, 2016

Dear Subscriber:

Each week we examine a theme from a variety of points of view. This week’s theme is humor.

Today’s poem is a humorous poem about the difficulty of comprehending my poetry.

I welcome comments on my poems at http://nicholasgordon.blogspot.com.

Yours,

Nick Gordon

What a puzzle Nick's poems are!

I cannot grasp what he is after.

Marx is easier by far!

Why write, if one is out to bar

All comprehension? Does he hafta?

Marx is easier by far.

If only some new thought would jar

Bourgeois perception, as in Kafka!

But Nick's poems empty puzzles are.

I think I would put him on par

With Cage or Pollack: Which is dafter?

Marx is easier by far.

Under what sectarian star

Was he begat? What gnomic laughter

Twists those poems which puzzles are?

Ah me! I'll never know. A for-

Eign joke, a filial disaster!

God! Such puzzles Nick's poems are!

Marx is easier--by far!

© by Nicholas Gordon

Hear or watch me recite this poem and listen to the music I chose for it at http://www.poemsforfree.com/puzzle.html. For more humorous poems, go to http://www.poemsforfree.com/funnypoems.html .

This week’s theme: Humor.

August 29: A Receptionist Is a Person (Please Note!)

August 30: Dr. Melendez’s Head Is Now Quite Full

August 31: Holidays Are Holy Here in Heaven

September 1: On Passing Air

September 2: I’m Safe and Sound

September 3: What a Puzzle Nick’s Poems Are

I'm Safe and Sound

September 2, 2016

Dear Subscriber:

Each week we examine a theme from a variety of points of view. This week’s theme is humor.

Today’s poem is a humorous poem about wearing a latex sheathe.

I welcome comments on my poems at http://nicholasgordon.blogspot.com.

Yours,

Nick Gordon

I'm safe and sound

Within my sheathe

My latex sheathe

That guards against

Both life and death

A latex wall

Between us – us?

There is no us

Just you and me

Or lots of you's

And just one me

But if it breaks

I know I'm screwed

I might get sick

Or be a dad

Either of which

Would be a bummer

But love needs trust

And I trust it

My latex sheathe

My rubber wall

To keep me safe

From life and death

Behind which I

Can be in you

© by Nicholas Gordon

Hear or watch me recite this poem and listen to the music I chose for it at http://www.poemsforfree.com/imsafe.html. For more humorous poems, go to http://www.poemsforfree.com/funnypoems.html .

This week’s theme: Humor.

August 29: A Receptionist Is a Person (Please Note!)

August 30: Dr. Melendez’s Head Is Now Quite Full

August 31: Holidays Are Holy Here in Heaven

September 1: On Passing Air

September 2: I’m Safe and Sound

On Passing Air

September 1, 2016

Dear Subscriber:

Each week we examine a theme from a variety of points of view. This week’s theme is humor.

Today’s poem is a humorous poem about flatulence.

I welcome comments on my poems at http://nicholasgordon.blogspot.com.

Yours,

Nick Gordon

On passing air

One turns around

To see if any

Heard the sound;

Then moves away

To vacate where

Another might

Inhale the air;

And then, relieved

In gut and soul,

Becomes again

A wholesome whole.

© by Nicholas Gordon

Hear or watch me recite this poem and listen to the music I chose for it at http://www.poemsforfree.com/onpass.html. For more humorous poems, go to http://www.poemsforfree.com/funnypoems.html .

This week’s theme: Humor.

August 29: A Receptionist Is a Person (Please Note!)

August 30: Dr. Melendez’s Head Is Now Quite Full

August 31: Holidays Are Holy Here in Heaven

September 1: On Passing Air

Holidays Are Holy Here in Heaven

August 31, 2016

Dear Subscriber:

Each week we examine a theme from a variety of points of view. This week’s theme is humor.

Today’s poem is a humorous poem from an eleven-year-old boy in Heaven to a friend who is still on Earth.

I welcome comments on my poems at http://nicholasgordon.blogspot.com.

Yours,

Nick Gordon

Holidays are holy here in heaven.

(Ordinary days are awful, too.)

Love is mandatory day and night.

If you get mad, you're not allowed to fight.

Desperate deeds are difficult to do!

As you know, I'll always be eleven.

Years pass, and there's still no sign of you.

So please come soon, 'cause we're still buddies. Right?

© by Nicholas Gordon

Hear or watch me recite this poem and listen to the music I chose for it at http://www.poemsforfree.com/holida.html. For more humorous poems, go to http://www.poemsforfree.com/funnypoems.html .

This week’s theme: Humor.

August 29: A Receptionist Is a Person (Please Note!)

August 30: Dr. Melendez’s Head Is Now Quite Full

August 31: Holidays Are Holy Here in Heaven

Dr. Melendez's Head Is Now Quite Full

August 30, 2016

Dear Subscriber:

Each week we examine a theme from a variety of points of view. This week’s theme is humor.

Today’s poem is a humorous name poem for someone who has just earned a doctorate.

I welcome comments on my poems at http://nicholasgordon.blogspot.com.

Yours,

Nick Gordon

Dr. Melendez's head is now quite full,

Replete with the most recent rabid ravings.

Most of what he's learned, of course, is bull,

Elicited to strip him of his savings.

Learned thoughts, like clothes, must follow fashion,

Ending up, again like clothes, as trash.

Nor is it easy not to want to cash in,

Defending with one's platitudes one's stash.

Even so, one can success deserve,

Zealous not to conquer, but to serve.

© by Nicholas Gordon

Hear or watch me recite this poem and listen to the music I chose for it at http://www.poemsforfree.com/drmele.html. For more humorous poems, go to http://www.poemsforfree.com/funnypoems.html .

This week’s theme: Humor.

August 29: A Receptionist Is a Person (Please Note!)

August 30: Dr. Melendez’s Head Is Now Quite Full

A Receptionist Is a Person (Please Note!)

August 29, 2016

Dear Subscriber:

Each week we examine a theme from a variety of points of view. This week’s theme is humor.

Today’s poem is a humorous poem comparing receptionists to football (American football) players.

I welcome comments on my poems at http://nicholasgordon.blogspot.com.

Yours,

Nick Gordon

A receptionist is a person (please note!),

Usually female, whose job is to receive.

Like her male cousin, the wide receiver,

She receives frequent passes from her own team

And abusive hits from visitors playing the field.

At times she is asked to do an end run

Around some office rival,

Or to execute a play

That is clearly out of bounds.

Should she complain,

She might find herself

Standing on the unemployment lines

Or sitting on the beach.

At times she is sorely tempted

To call a strike.

(But that's another sport!)

© by Nicholas Gordon

Hear or watch me recite this poem and listen to the music I chose for it at http://www.poemsforfree.com/recept.html. For more humorous poems, go to http://www.poemsforfree.com/funnypoems.html .

This week’s theme: Humor.

August 29: A Receptionist Is a Person (PleaseNote!)